ThrillerTalk: July 2010 Archives

During the entertainment portion of the awards banquet at ThrillerFest V, ITW members Michael and Daniel Palmer performed the following, sung to the tune of the Folsum Prison Blues.  Many who were at the banquet have said they wished the words had appeared simultaneously on the room's two big screens, so Michael sent them along.  Enjoy!

 

The Writer's Prison Blues

 

I'm sittin' in my desk chair,

Just waitin' for my muse

My protagonist is stumblin' about

Searchin' for some clues

I'm stuck in writers' prison

And my screen is blank

While the plot that once seemed brilliant

Moves like a Grumman tank

 

When I was just a Freshman,

My professor told me, "Son,

If you think you'll get rich writing,

then you really are quite dumb"

So I put him in my prologue

Just to watch him die,

Now I sit here writin' queries

And hang my head and cry. 

 

I'm working at Home Depot

Just to pay the rent

My character development

Has cost me my last cent

My agent hasn't called

My deadline's drawing nigh.

I'm thinking of just falling back

On stuff from Junior High.

 

Patterson and Coben

Those guys don't scare me none

Follett . . . He's still writing?

Well, let him have his fun.

I've out swum Cussler's heroes

Lee Child won't stick around

Baldacci said he'd blurb me

If I were Sandra Brown.

 

Twitter has abandoned us

Our facebook friends are down

A market for Zombi, romance, nautical, young adult women's fiction

Hasn't yet been found

We know the world will love us

We need to make them see

If they won't put us in paper

We'll make the e-Book free.